Caught in a mix of emotions being happy and sad… maybe confused, just when you think you’re overcoming the barriers to life and career path… a double knock back within a month.

It’s already been a bumpy ride this year, fighting for what I wanted and excelling in particular activities – online and offline.

People around the globe and the places I go noticing my sheer efforts of change from negative to positive vibes…

Becoming pretty toned, more confident than ever before, from gym to running, to upside-down pull-ups, 7 days a week with work on the go – I was feeling… well… words that I cannot describe, due to the fact I was never into sports – I still feel the same about it now.

Trying new tech and getting caught in the moment of performing better than your best – gets addictive. Highest record of time vs. distance in one hour and five minutes racking up eleven point four kilometres, my daily step count with the Fitbit watch was over 20k and that raised some stakes via the app with other avid hot steppers where they’d invite me to challenges.

Notice that I mentioned work somewhere above?

I took a job role on in the exact career path where I’d left from, but with a software company that values and understands the process. Yes, I kept this low, why? Well, I didn’t want the hassle of people approaching me, knowing one in a niche market, with skills somewhat spanning across the border and having that extra year spent on intense online training.

Another silver lining… if you take the time to self-study and progress, you can go a long way with the right kind of people.

Why did I take it?

You know at some point in life the three-letter word hangs and clings around your life… it pretty much stops you from going forward in personal life. Being in a comfort zone having no title, but making growth online where others wouldn’t have seen it, makes you feel misunderstood.

I folded and realised something from a positive view, when something is that good then it’s probably priceless to put a price on and that made me realise something else, you just can’t put a price to how much one can know and that flaw I saw in most of my interviews.

But there was one particular interview before this job at their headquarters that truly broke me when I was trying to convince my passion, my strengths, my evidence and efforts to getting a job that I already knew I could do.

That outcome was among the lines of one doing such thorough in-depth learning with a verbal test… it would be a shame to put one in this role not using those skills and that was coming from a large supermarket retailer. They knew it, I knew it, and so we parted our ways.

But this month “November” has been another eventful time for my family and relatives.

My cousin 34-year-old passed away earlier this week and my mothers dad, my granddad passed during the week, he was in his eighties and that put another view on things, no matter how young or old you are anything can happen, so enjoy what you have and make the most of it, life is truly too short.

Going through a family/relative crisis in the past and after seeing one family help the suffering, I wouldn’t want anyone to suffer more just to live on if they were in pure pain. It also has a knock on effect with those around who had been helping out too; those memories will stay to the end.

Being in his eighties, made me feel he did well for himself, but for my cousin, thirty-four… is just way too short. He left two young beautiful kids behind. This will be the most heart touching thing when they will realise this.

As the oldest male cousin from my mother’s side, I feel we have some responsibilities to my young nephews and give them company whenever they come to visit and this is why this blog post was called “caught in a mix of emotions”.

💐 A spilt of happiness and sad times… 🌹